Recently, while standing next to a giant hole in the ground, where the East Wing of the White House once stood and where he hopes his billion-dollar golden ballroom will be, Donald Trump gave reporters his views on $4.50/gallon gasoline. “This is peanuts,” he said, shaming the press for not perceiving the big picture. Then, a fantastic number suddenly popped into his head. “I had gasoline down to $1.85 in Iowa,” he said with a straight face. “This is peanuts!” he scoffed again. As if a peanut is a small thing.
The significance of a peanut all depends on who you ask. In our back yard, there lives several chipmunks, one of whom will go to great lengths for one peanut. In his little chipmunk heart, he knows people are dangerous. Some of them have dogs or cats. Humans themselves are large and unpredictable. But some humans, like me, have peanuts.
When he sees me, the chipmunk will throw caution to the wind and run out to meet his fate and maybe get a peanut. Although it must be a challenge, he seems to prefer peanuts in the shell. He likes the process of unwrapping them and leaving the shells behind in plain view where his fellow chipmunks are watching from their hiding places with awe and envy.
While the president of the United States refers to peanuts with contempt, to my chipmunk, one peanut is a complete meal, a wonderous treat from a higher plane of existence, bestowed upon him alone by one of the mysterious monsters who apparently rules the world. Nobody should sneer about peanuts in front of him. A peanut is the best thing ever!
Peanuts are high in protein. And being beans, they add nitrogen to the soil. Peanut butter was invented in the 1890’s as a nutritional supplement for hospital patients who could not chew meat. It takes 540 peanuts to make a jar of peanut butter. Some people are allergic to peanuts. There is even a scientific name for the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth: arachibutyrophobia.
George Washington Carver, the scientist, inventor and peanut promoter working in the early 1900’s, became the first Black student ever admitted to what is now Iowa State University and went on to become the institution’s first Black faculty member. Carver had a rough start in life. In 1864, as a baby, he was kidnapped by Confederate bushwhackers and held for ransom. The kidnappers eventually traded the future peanut pioneer for a horse.
While working at the Tuskegee Institute, Carver observed that soil in the South was depleted from years of cotton production and foresaw that planting peanuts would repair it. He discovered hundreds of uses for peanuts as flour, cooking oil, paints, dyes and cosmetics, etc. Carver almost single-handedly created the American peanut industry.
Last year, responding to criticism over spending $45 million on a military parade for his birthday, Trump said it was “peanuts compared to the value of doing it”. Trump’s online store sells all kinds of merch, including red hats that read, “Trump was right about everything” for $55. And you can even buy two three-ounce packs of Trump Peanuts for $12. That’s $2/ounce or 400 percent more than the same thing at Hy-Vee. Trump’s peanuts cost $32 a pound! And that ain’t peanuts.