I remember the day Mom tried to explain to us four constantly ravenous children, the concept of leftovers. She took a deep breath as if preparing to parse some impenetrable theological question. “Leftovers are foods that are not eaten—um—all at once.” My little brother tilted his head like a dog hearing a doorbell for the first time. What was she talking about? We’d never seen a leftover. Mom shrugged. “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

When the initial assault on the Thanksgiving meal is over and you assess the damage on the battlefield, the mangled turkey carcass nearly shaming you into turning vegetarian and the mountain of lukewarm mashed potatoes congealing on the platter, you ask yourself what could you possibly do with all those leftovers? By the time you read this, it will be a week after Thanksgiving and if you have been eating the leftover stuffing and bean casserole all week, it’s probably too late. You’re already dead.

According to the Food and Drug Administration Food Code, all opened perishable foods should be thrown out after at most seven days. The Mayo Clinic points out that pathogens like deadly botulism begin multiplying immediately and are not detectible by taste or smell. Dr. Margarethe Cooper, associate professor and the chair in food safety education at the University of Arizona explains that within the “danger zone” of 40 to 140 degrees Fahrenheit, E. coli can double every 20 minutes. “Since this growth is exponential,” she writes, “without proper refrigeration to slow their growth, the bacteria can reach high enough numbers (to be deadly) if left out for more than two hours.”

Freezing food will stop bacterial growth like sticking a brick behind a car tire to keep it from rolling downhill. But as soon as it is thawed out, the bacteria can get rolling again. By freezing the leftover turkey, it can keep for six months or more. Frozen pork chops are good for three months or so. Salads don’t freeze well, especially with things like cucumbers. A cucumber may look okay in the freezer but as soon as it’s thawed out, it melts into green goo.

Maybe the safest and most appealing thing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers is to transform them into something completely different. The standard solution is the trusty turkey sandwich, made with a slice of turkey, some cranberries, maybe some ham, lettuce—hell, even some pumpkin pie. Nobody needs to know. After all the guests have gone home, you can hunker down with your abominable and delicious sandwich and watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart until you fall asleep on the couch in a tryptophan-induced coma.

Turkey tetrazzini is terrific and uses up a lot of leftover turkey. Thanksgiving Cobb Salad is perfect for leftovers, using eggs, turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberries and whatever. And, no, my fellow Iowans, Cobb Salad is not a local dish made with real corn cobs. It was named after Robert Howard Cobb, co-owner of LA’s Brown Derby Restaurant, who in 1937, came home hungry one day and dumped everything in his kitchen into a bowl. His “recipe” became an instant hit at the restaurant. This technique is highly recommended for Thanksgiving leftovers. Just don’t wait too long to eat it.