Sure, there are real dangers in the world—hurricanes, floods, wars, famines, pandemics. But isn’t it funny how we take perverse pleasure in scaring ourselves—over nothing? Take Halloween. It used to be a religious holiday. Now it’s all about kids dressing up like monsters and ghouls, wandering the streets at night, demanding candy from strangers. Nobody is really scared. Except maybe—dentists.
Last week, there were screaming headlines that four killer asteroids were hurtling toward Earth—one as big as a 50-story skyscraper!
We’re doomed. There’s no time to get our affairs in order. Don’t buy green bananas. Don’t bother setting out the recycling. This is the end. Then, the article mentions that the planet-killer asteroid will miss Earth by 2.8 million miles. Whew! That was close!
“Only in Iowa” is a website dedicated to presenting charming and interesting places and events in Iowa. But lest we get too comfortable and complacent about our home state, Michaela Kendall’s article, “Here Are the 9 Biggest Risks of Living in Iowa” gives us some good reasons to be afraid.
Like deer. Yeah, they seem so sweet and gentle, grazing in the park, sometimes accompanied by a couple of darling little spotted fauns. Speaking from experience, I can honestly report that I’ve never been hit by a 77,000 mile-an-hour asteroid. But twice, my truck has been smashed up by deer slowly meandering across Highway 1.
New York City and Los Angeles might have terrifying traffic jams and road rage, but Iowa has tractors. This time of year, Iowa drivers need to be on high alert while traveling secondary roads as traffic suddenly slows to a crawl for farm tractors, combines and hay wagons.
If you’re not afraid of tractors, then how about a 4,000-foot-tall tornado, shooting lightning bolts and gobbling up mobile homes like M&M’s? As natural disasters go, there is hardly anything so cinematically frightening as an Iowa tornado. The article also warns Iowans about ticks and mosquitoes. Iowans have little to fear from malaria or dengue fever but it’s still creepy to have small creatures ravenously nibbling your lifeblood. Mosquitoes are annoying, but finding a swollen wood tick in your hair is enough to turn your stomach.
A story about another scary Iowa bug surfaced recently when Michelle Wiegand, a Johnson County Conservation specialist found a rare, “rusty patched bumblebee” in her own back yard. It is believed that this is the first nest found in Iowa since the bee was placed on the federally endangered list in 2017.
Iowa State University entomologists were able to excavate the nest to learn more about this dwindling little stinger. (Like don’t stick your hand in a bee’s nest.) Researchers will gently extract the bee’s DNA to learn more about its genetic vulnerabilities and to train dogs to find these rare nests in the future. (Dog: You want me to hunt rabbits? Fine. Squirrels? Fine. Badgers? Well, okay. But bumble bees? You’re on your own, pal.) Real terror is a personal thing. A bumble bee on your ear is scarier than a giant asteroid two million miles from Earth.