First of all, for the record, you should never throw your baby. Even on Independence Day. (More on this later.)

Recently, the Johnson County Board of Supervisors has been reviewing its fireworks policy over safety concerns. In 2017, consumer fireworks were legalized in Iowa. It is generally known that personal injuries spike every year on the Fourth of July. According to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, in 2023, there were reports of 9,700 fireworks-related accidents and eight deaths that occurred on the holiday. There were 800 injuries with firecrackers requiring emergency room treatment and 700 with sparklers.

Johnson County was particularly concerned about one incident reported in an unincorporated area in which a private individual fired a rocket at an unsafe angle which appeared to be heading at a mother and her baby. In a hasty attempt to protect her child, the mother tossed the baby into the air. Thankfully neither was struck by the rocket, but the baby suffered a broken leg from the fall.

Whereas the mother’s instinct to protect her child is commendable, one might question why, in the face of danger, her first impulse was to throw her baby. She might have shielded her child from the rocket with her body. Or ducked.

Statistically, it would seem that the odds of getting hit by a cheap, consumer-grade rocket are relatively low and that a rocket, being airborne is more likely to strike targets that are also in the air (like a tossed baby). And, perhaps the situation calls for some degree of pre-planning. Like a fire drill. For example, if you know you will be attending a celebration in which idiots are shooting off random deadly fireworks, you could bring a trashbcan lid as a shield, helmets for everybody and maybe a fireproof blanket. Or better yet, don’t subject your baby to deafening and dangerous explosives.

Aside from the obvious hazards of fire, air pollution, property damage and physical trauma, fireworks can trigger anxiety in those suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. Fireworks induce panic in around 5% of American adults (and 100% of Labrador retrievers). Rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air—how is that fun? It sounds more like war. What sane person brings their children and pets to a battlefield and spreads out a picnic lunch? What’s wrong with that picture?

Alternatively, people could celebrate the Fourth of July by attending laser shows and those high-tech drone displays. Or traditional municipal fireworks produced by professionals.

Currently, while it is permitted to set off fireworks within cities in Iowa, it is illegal to do so in unincorporated areas. So, what is the Johnson County Board of Supervisor’s solution to the fireworks problem? They want to also make it legal to shoot off fireworks in unincorporated areas—as long as it’s done between 9 a.m. and 11 p.m. Fireworks would still be dangerous, loud, smelly and hazardous to property. Just more predictable. Basically, they want to remove the crime by removing the penalty for the crime. Like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.