This morning, I saw a notice on a local bulletin board that read, “Clean Dirt Wanted.” Clean dirt? That’s like asking for dry water or a working vacation. This request struck me as kind of bittersweet—unless there was a deeper message that was clearly disguised.
Now that winter is safely behind us, many people are turning their attention to spring cleaning (okay, not me specifically). In fact, the way I know spring has finally arrived is that early in the morning as the sun slowly rises in the east, I can see those tiny particles of dust drifting in the air, silhouetted in golden light. You don’t see this in the winter because the sky is always gray and when you get up at 6 am, it’s pitch black outside and your bare feet are freezing to the kitchen floor and you just want some coffee and couldn’t give a hoot about floating dust particles.
As lyrically beautiful as airborne dirt might be, it’s still just dirt, not pretty dirt, not precious dirt and not clean dirt. And although you may not have been aware of it all winter, dirt has been floating and accumulating all over your house. When the sunlight is falling just right on your couch, give it a good slap and watch the plume of dust explode and spread across the room like a volcanic eruption.
Spring sunshine is warm and wonderful but it tells the truth and will not spare your feelings. While the dark light of winter hid the little rolling tumbleweeds of dog dander under your desk, spring casts a spotlight on them like a prison break as they try in vain to evade detection.
But where does all this dust come from? When I was a little kid, my mom told me that dust comes from outer space. Even then, I was skeptical of that story, suspecting there was probably a grittier explanation. We lived next to a gravel road and every time some vehicle drove by, it would kick up a cloud of dirt that settled on our cars, on windowsills and clothes on the clothesline. We must have breathed so much lime dust, it’s a wonder we didn’t all get silicosis.
While it is true that some dust comes from outer space, other sources include soot, sand, grass, pollen and mold. But—and I am not making this up—the number one source of indoor dirt is…human skin! Humans are flakey. Like snakes, we are constantly shedding our skin and as it decomposes, it leaves a little gray snowdrift behind. The reason dust is gray is because that’s the color of dead skin. Grossed out yet? It gets worse.
In case you’re thinking all that dead skin is waiting around for us to sweep it up, be assured that the dust mites do not wait. These hideous, microscopic bugs are continuously devouring our dead skin like an army of ravenous Roombas. They live in our carpets, in our beds and pillow cases, in our clothes.
While it may be an unattainable ideal, “clean dirt” is still a nice thought…like effortless labor.