Let’s be realistic. On January 2nd, many people are not feeling good about themselves. They might be feeling the effects of having been, as they say, “overserved”, queasy, headache, disoriented and maybe trying to remember what exactly they said and did at the office party last night. This is not an objective starting point when composing New Year’s resolutions.
Traditionally, what are New Year’s resolutions but a confession, an admission of failure and an apology for only doing what comes naturally? It is a promise to stop being yourself and assume the role of some saintly individual with seven percent body fat who pays their bills on time, is never late picking their kids up from soccer practice and never lets the dishes pile up in the sink. You know, the kind of person nobody likes. The last thing you need on January 2nd, when you’re already at your worst, is a list of accusations and unrealistic expectations. This is exactly the time you should be making yourself feel better—not worse.
Are you really going to clean out the garage next year? Then why torture yourself with that unlikely prospect? Are you really going to lose 15 pounds? Even if you did, where would you put it? You don’t even have a place for that bicycle you never ride. Are you going to become four inches taller and six years younger? Are you going to discover the meaning of life?
Then, instead of beating yourself up, why not use your New Year’s resolutions to congratulate yourself for being so great? This may take some serious thought, unaccustomed as we are to being kind to ourselves. But let’s give it a shot.
1. In 2024, I promise to talk to myself gently as I would to somebody who needs my help–and not call myself bad names (at least not out loud like in elevators or airplanes where others can overhear and fear that I am talking to them).
2. Every night before bed, I will think of all the good things that happened that day and forgive myself for all the stupid things I did, knowing I couldn’t help it and will probably do something just as stupid tomorrow anyway.
3. I will acknowledge the challenges I encounter and the qualities I possess that let me conquer them—stubborn, obsessive, indifferent, clueless.
4. Every Monday, I will make a detailed list of the things I need to do that week. I know I probably won’t get around to doing them. But every Friday, I will clear my conscience and throw away the list.
5. I promise to drink more water and get more exercise and be brave and take more chances—not necessarily that those things go together like swimming in Lake McBride. I’ve seen what the seagulls do there and I’m not sure you ought to get that water in your mouth.
Anyway, New Year’s resolutions should start your new year feeling positive about yourself. And don’t listen to that little voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough. Who does he think he is anyway?