Late last month, an Iowa City man was charged with carrying a concealed dangerous weapon. Well, sort of concealed. To be fair Michael Preslicka, 31, had made a pretty reasonable attempt to conceal it, but it still poked out here and there.
Reportedly, the tip of the 28-inch blade of Preslicka’s long sword was clearly visible under the bottom of his jacket and the handle stuck out at the top. It’s not that deadly weapons are particularly illegal in Iowa. I haven’t kept up with Gov. Kim Reynold’s latest rulings on concealed weapons but I think now everybody is supposed to carry some kind of gun. Recently, I was caught off guard when I was asked at the entrance to a government building if I was carrying any weapons. I thought, “Uh, oh. I forgot to bring a weapon.” I started to apologize but the officer let me through with a warning. It turns out, based on his previous run-ins with the law, Mr. Preslicka, was not permitted to carry dangerous weapons.
As weapons go, long swords are hard to conceal, mostly because they are, well, long. Typically, a long sword runs between 40 and 48 inches with the blade measuring 33 to 43 inches, weighing in at 2.5 to 4 pounds. While pocket knives are generally allowed in Iowa, carrying medieval weapons like long swords, pikes, lances, maces, battle axes or trebuchets are frowned upon. In fact, any knife with a blade longer than five inches is considered prohibitively dangerous. If only Preslicka had been carrying a four-inch-long sword, fit for a tiny little knight of the Round Table, he might have been okay.
Earlier last month Arrie Darnell, 67 of Burlington, was arrested for having several illegal drugs in his car as well as drug paraphernalia. Oh, and a large sword. What was he going to do with that? Last October 57-year-old Mitchell Ray Langel of Oelwein was arrested for repeatedly threating a woman with a sword. He was held at the Fayette County Jail on $2,000 bond and charged with 1st degree harassment. Just harassment? Really?
Last year, 60-year-old Kim Cannon of Hawkeye was arrested for hacking her husband with two swords. Fortunately, he lived and Cannon is now serving a long stretch in Mitchellville.
The strangest Iowa sword event occurred back in 2020 when David Ostrom of Kansas filed a motion in the Iowa District Court in Shelby County, offering to settle differences with his ex-wife (and her lawyer) by challenging them to “trial by combat.” Ostrom also asked the judge for a 12-week extension to give him time to procure the necessary samurai swords. Although trial-by-combat is illegal in this country, Judge Dreismeier declined to specifically rule it out. Ostrom’s wife’s attorney argued, “This conduct is concerning” and complained that a sword fight might lead to death. He requested Ostrom undergo a psychiatric evaluation, which the judge granted. The evaluation concluded that Ostrom was not actually crazy but recommended counseling.
Ostrom admitted he was only trying to make a point that divorce courts are slanted against men. And although he was frustrated with the court proceedings, he agreed to not chop up his wife and her lawyer with a sword. And who says chivalry is dead?