Of all the dirty tricks! It’s bad enough they charge $935 a month for the stuff (without insurance) but then it turns out the weight loss drug sold by the Iowa telepharmacy company SmartScrpits was counterfeit.

Ozempic, manufactured by the Danish company Novo Nordisk has become wildly popular, with over 9 million users in the US alone. Riding the success of Ozempic, Novo Nordisk is now worth $579 billion—more than the entire Gross Domestic Product of Denmark. Ozempic was not designed to make people smarter or richer or healthier—well, actually, it was originally designed to treat type 2 diabetes, but upon discovering its weight-loss properties, Ozempic is now typically used for making people smaller.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), around 42 percent of American adults are obese. This is not merely an inconvenience. It’s a national health crisis. Of course, there is always diet and exercise. And there is also KFC and Blue Bunny ice cream and Netflix. Ozempic promises to let patients lose weight with simple weekly injections. But are there side effects? Check out the Ozempic website.

The company’s safety information freely reports Ozempic can cause inflammation of the pancreas, hypoglycemia, gallbladder problems, kidney failure, changes in vision and thyroid cancer. Also stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, etc. They cheerfully offer suggestions for their customers experiencing ill effects from the medication. For feelings of nausea, they recommend, “Eat bland, low-fat foods, like crackers, toast and rice…. Avoid fried, greasy or sweet foods. Go out for fresh air. Eat more slower.” (Come on, if we were willing to do that, we would naturally lose weight and we wouldn’t need your darned Ozempic.)

How does Ozempic work? It imitates a naturally-occurring hormone that tells your brain you are not hungry. That sounds awesome, because your brain usually believes you desperately require Oreos and cheeseburgers and giant Slurpees and curly fries. At last, there is a chemical substitute for willpower. But there’s a catch (I mean besides all that bother about kidney failure and thyroid cancer). Ozempic also slows digestion, making food stay longer in the stomach, potentially creating a hard mass like a hockey puck called a “bezoar” that is difficult to pass into the small intestine. Oh, and if you stop taking Ozempic, you will probably gain your weight back. Bon appetite.

Now Iowa’s SmartScripts is in trouble for selling bogus Ozempic to a Michigan company, although no customers have reported getting sick from using the fake Ozempic. But even if they didn’t get sick, imagine their disappointment when customers believed they had become immune to mashed potatoes and pork chops only to discover it had all been nothing but a dream.

Maybe Ozempic, real or counterfeit is not a good substitute for eating responsibly, but when the Iowa State Fair comes around in August, we are officially entitled to leave all responsibility behind and have a bacon pecan pie on a stick with a clear conscience.