Senator Dawn Driscoll (R-Williamsburg) is calling the bill “the meat integrity act.” Because if there is one thing Iowans demand it is meat with integrity. But Senate File 2391 is not so much about the moral rectitude of animal flesh as it is about semantics. Specifically, should a food product be labeled a “veggie burger” or “bacon” if there’s no actual meat involved? And is the whole controversy nothing but a nothingburger?
The bill passed the Senate 49 to zip with supporters claiming it will help protect livestock farmers from unfair competition from lab-grown protein. A 2021 study estimated that (when it becomes available) laboratory meat will cost between $17 and $23 per pound to produce while the meat that moos costs about $5 a pound. Other meat substitutes include insect-based alternatives. I don’t know about you but I want a burger clearly marked if it is made from crickets—and not just “may contain crickets” but leaving no doubt that what you’re buying is a total bug burger. Driscoll drew a few laughs from Democrats when she said, “This is a preventative measure against an activist federal government who wants to see our children eat from a Petri dish.”
The bill specifies that Iowa schools will be banned from buying artificial meat. Actually, I think Iowa students would be ideal test subjects for the stuff, accustomed as they already are to “mystery meat”.
Promoters of lab meat point out that it is more environmentally friendly than beef which requires 1,800 gallons of water to produce one pound of meat. Also, raising cattle contributes to global warming, creating greenhouse gasses like carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide, a biproduct of animal manure which is used as an anesthetic in dental procedures (nitrous oxide, I mean, not manure. Open wide!).
Like the term “meat” “Champagne” has run into legal trouble these days. Now, according to “protection designation of origin” laws, champagne can’t be called champagne unless it actually comes from Champagne, France. Everything else is just “sparkling wine.”
Fake food is nothing new. Saccharine and stevia are sugar substitutes. There’s turkey bacon and soy milk. Fake eggs include products like Follow Your Heart and Just Egg. For a 16-ounce container of Egg Replacer, you have to fork out $15 and the stuff is nowhere near as nutritious as real eggs.
Margarine was invented in France in 1869 when Napoleon III called for a cheap substitute for butter to feed his armies during the Franco-Prussian War. In the 1940’s margarine was at the heart of a scandal at Iowa State University. Economics professor T.W. Schultz published a pamphlet advocating the use of margarine over butter since it was less labor intensive and just as nutritious. But the National Dairyman’s Association denounced the article, labeling Dr. Schultz “sadistic” and “unstable”.
Since the dairy industry paid a lot of taxes and since ISU was tax-supported, Schultz was pressured to retract the article. Standing up for academic freedom, he resigned along with 15 of his colleagues. Ironically, in 1979, while delivering a guest lecture at ISU, Dr. Schultz, now at the University of Chicago, received word that he had been awarded the Nobel Prize in economics. Also, ironically, years later, it was determined that the Dairyman’s Association was right after all. Butter is better for you than margarine. But you still can’t call margarine “butter”.