Selecting a baby name may sound like a fun family activity. But before you make a final decision—stop and consider how you could be burdening your child with high expectations—or cursing them with a lifetime of humiliation.
There is a new list of the most popular Iowa baby names. Curiously, the favorite name for boys is Oliver and for girls is Olivia. (Who decides these things?) In both cases, the name means somebody who plants olive trees. Plus, it suggests one who brings peace and compromise—as in offering an olive branch. Given our current divisive political climate, Oliver and Olivia seem to promise hope for the future.
Number four on the list is Theodore. It’s a name that suggests our 26th president, Theodore Roosevelt. It may also suggest somebody who is likely to get beat up at recess. Number ten on the girl’s list is Eleanor, a name made famous by Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of president Franklin D. Roosevelt and one of Gallup Polls Most Widely Admired People of the 20th Century. It’s hard to think of any little girl named Eleanor because it kind of sounds like an old lady’s name. And yet there is a real sweetness to it.
Other presidential names include Lincoln at #10 and Jackson at #13, Alexander at #33 and Harrison at #50. Also, for girls, there’s Madison at #49.
Old fashioned names are back in popularity. Amelia ranks #5, Abigail is #21 and Grace is #24. A hundred years ago, girls were often given flower names. Now they’re back. Violet is #29, Ivy is #33, Lily is #48 and Camila comes in at #46.
Sometimes a baby name is a lot to live up to. Ari is Hebrew for lion. A boy named Ari might be expected to be a great political leader or a soldier or a business tycoon. Astrid means “a quaking tree.” If you had twins, it wouldn’t be fair to name them Ari and Astrid.
There is also a list of what is known as “extinct names.” At the top of this list is, not surprisingly, Adolf. Who but a raving lunatic would name their baby Adolf? It should be against the law. Bertie is on this list. I think Bertie is a perfectly darling name. For boys, Buford has fallen out of favor (thank goodness). Prunella has become unpopular. Can you imagine? Nicodem is becoming extinct. I would have assumed it already was. Winkie—I’m not sure if this is a boy’s name or a girl’s name. Either way, it is a terrible thing to do to a child. Then there’s Dicky, Debby, Willie. If you’re going to name a child, at least give him or her a complete, dignified, grown-up name like Richard, Deborah or William.
I was christened, Danny after the Irish song “Danny Boy” which is practically impossible to sing and is the song of choice at funerals, often, for some reason, for police officers. It is said that American police officer Charlie McKenna once warned, “I want “Danny Boy” sung at my funeral mass, and if it isn’t, I’m going to get up and walk out.”
And for heaven’s sake, don’t give your child a throw-up name like Ralph or Earl or York—even O’Rourke. Nothing good could come of it.