In case you don’t think people from Iowa City are already weird enough, now don’t be surprised if you see them talking to lamp posts and parking meters.
While it has become normal to watch pedestrians having an animated conversation with a silent and invisible person on their cell phone, at least you can be confident they are speaking with a human being and are probably not completely nuts. But now Iowa City has become one of the first cities in the nation to adopt a new technology called Hello Lamp Post, that invites pedestrians to text phone numbers or scan QR codes on various inanimate objects, enabling them to ask for directions, inquire about public art, report crimes or complain about road construction.
Once they make connect, a person can strike up a conversation with the artificial intelligence-powered voice on the other end, saying, for example, “Hello Lamp Post number 136, what’s playing at the Paramount Theater?” Or, “Hello Park Bench number 85, where can I find the woman of my dreams?” You can ask anything. It’s all very cute.
The London-based company has been operating in Europe for several years, started as a more personal and amusing way for residents to become oriented in their surroundings and for cities to get feedback.
“Hello Fire Hydrant number 14, how do I get to the Interstate?”
“Hi there. Thanks for talking with me. You might be surprised how few people are willing to be seen having a conversation with a fire hydrant. I guess they’re afraid everyone will think they’re insane. Or sometimes they’ll hit you with their purse and call the police. But you’re different, I can tell.”
“Yeah, I just want to get to the Interstate so I can drop the dog off with my ex-wife’s new boyfriend.”
“Was it a messy divorce?”
“Yes, it was, Fire Hydrant 14. Thanks for asking, but if you don’t mind….”
“There is construction on Gilbert. Would you like to know how the city council voted on financing?”
“I’m kind of in a hurry.”
“It’s important for us to know if you are happy with the city’s reclamation program. Go ahead and ask me something.”
“Okay. Why doesn’t Iowa City ever plow its alleys? And before you answer that, I want you to know that I have a 75-pound dog here that just drank a quart of water and he’s looking at you like you’re a…well, like a fire hydrant.”
Call me old fashioned but I’m not sure I’m ready for chatty parking meters and loquacious lamp posts. I’m afraid it is only a matter of time before cities turn to the private sector for ways of paying for the service. Mail boxes will be giving astrology readings. Storm drains will offer dating services. If you want the dumpster to tell you the score of the Iowa/Nebraska game, you’ll have to listen to ads for Chuck-E-Cheese and Turbo Tax.
Talking lamp posts answering the city’s customer service questions may sound like a charming way to humanize technology, but I think they just don’t want to answer their phones.