I think we can all agree that spitting isn’t nice. Learning not to spit was one of the first lessons in etiquette my parents taught us — along with not biting. (My 3-year-old brother could bite like a snapping turtle!)
Refraining from unnecessary and unhygienic expectoration is especially appreciated these days in the midst of the world-wide pandemic. So, you can almost understand why Shane Wayne Michael was recently sentenced to 10 years in prison after spitting on Mark Dinning.
Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that. It seems that both men were at Vision 4 Less in Des Moines Nov. 11, 2020 and both were wearing masks as per the state mandate. But Mr. Dinning apparently was not pleased with the way Mr. Michael was wearing his mask below his nose. And he told him so.
Mr. Michael did not take well to being criticized for his bare and potentially infectious nose and proceeded to follow Mr. Dinning into the car park to tell him not to stick his nose in other people’s business. What happened next is a matter of controversy but somewhere along the line Dinning poked Michael in the stomach and Michael poked Dinning in the eye—which kind of gave new meaning to the name “Vision 4 Less.”
Michael kicked Dinning and Dinning bit Michael and the whole disagreement was starting to get out of hand. Then Michael pulled down his mask and spat in Dinning’s face, shouting, “If I have it,” meaning Covid-19, “you have it!”
It turned out neither man did have it and if their mothers had only taught them better manners, Dinning wouldn’t have gotten a black eye and Michael wouldn’t have gotten 10 years in prison.
Recently Sports Illustrated reported that there is a lot of spitting going on at the Summer Olympics. And it isn’t because the 11,000 athletes, coaches and journalists are unsanitary (well, maybe with the exception of journalists). As a way of testing for Covid-19, everybody at the Olympic village is required to spit into a little test tube, probably adding up to enough to fill an Olympic pool. There is even a room the size of a football field dedicated to spit testing (in the Main Press Center, of course.)
But spitting doesn’t always have to be gross and rude. Spitting can be fun and exciting. Up until recently, competitors from far and wide gathered in Eau Claire, Mich. for the International Cherry Pit-Spitting championships. Brian “Young Gun” Krause took top honors in 2004 and his record of 93 feet, 6.5 inches won a Guinness World Record which still stands to this day.
Some animals spit. Llamas, alpacas, camels and archer fish all spit. According to Science Magazine, spitting cobras are “crack shots,” able to hit their victim’s eyes with powerful venom from two meters away. Visitors to Big Bend Park in west Texas might have the misfortune to encounter an acid-spitting land lobster, affectionately known as the “vinegaroon.” It grows to be around 3 inches long and has pinchers like a lobster. Its spit isn’t poisonous to humans and is made up mostly of acetic acid, basically vinegar. It’s a creepy thing that looks like a scorpion. You might say it’s the spitting image.
Living in Iowa: An Iowan learns that spitting has consequences
July 29, 2021