I would be willing to bet that everyone you know has a hidden talent. I know somebody who can eat at a restaurant and then go home and duplicate the meal exactly — I mean exactly. I know somebody who can listen to a joke while simultaneously telling his own joke and still know when to laugh at the punchline. (It’s very annoying.) I can pour precisely two-thirds of a cup of water out of the faucet into a glass without measuring. Every time. I never miss. What’s the point? Beats me.
Recently a 23-year-old man from Solihull, England, named Will Cutbill achieved the unimaginable feat of stacking five M&M’s on top of each other. Five! In the history of the planet, no human being has ever done that. And I’m betting none will again. You’re thinking, “So what? I could do that.” Sure, anybody can stack two M&M’s. If you’re lucky, maybe you could do three. But five? There’s no way.
Bored out of his mind during the lockdown, Cutbill threw caution to the wind and vowed to challenge the long-standing (long-teetering) record of four stacked M&M’s jointly held by Italian resident Silvio Sabba and Australian, Brendan Kelbie. “Usually, I’m a chocolate bar type of guy,” Cutbill explained, “but this time the bag of M&M’s called me, and boy am I glad they did!”
“Will Cutbill, M&M Stacker” now has a place of honor in the Guinness Book of World Records. Never give up your dreams.
There are 10 Guinness World Records set by Iowans, including the Most Sticky Notes stuck on a face in one minute — 60 by Taylor Maurer of Sioux City and the Most Swing Backflip Assists in a minute — 40 by Tom Roeder of Iowa City (I don’t even know what that is, but good for you, Tom!).
But the ones who show their useless talent, not for the fame and glory but for the sheer weirdness of it — those are the real heroes. Recently, some commenters on Reddit each confessed their secret genius. One guy claimed he was a crack shot with a rubber band.
“I once shot a rubber band into my boss’s open mouth from about 15 feet away. She was talking to a group of people and I hit the bullseye mid-sentence. It’s one of my proudest achievements.”
Another wrote, “I can recite the entire movie Aliens word for word.”
Another revealed, “I can vibrate my eyes. Doesn’t do anything but shake my world around.”
One woman complained about her talent. “Exotic birds or rare native birds seem to show up wherever I am. My mom is an avid birdwatcher and she forces me to come with her as a sort of lucky charm. Every time I go, she sees some blueberry crested warblerwonk or something. Every time it works. I’m just like, for heaven’s sake! This is the worst super power ever!”
Or, maybe her mom misses her so much, she invented that bird story just so they can hang out together.
Living in Iowa: But can you do this?
July 8, 2021